Feeling more normal today. I have my appetite back which is nice. Why am I feeling less devastated?
1) The offers for kidneys have started to trickle in. That is unbelievably comforting. UC Davis, which is where the transplant will happen if V qualifies, participates in a nifty program. If your donor isn't a suitable match then their kidney is matched to someone else whose dinner wasn't a suitable match and vice versa. Amazing that no one thought of this sooner.
2) My husband finally called V to talk about what's going on. It's going to be VERY DIFFICULT for me to learn that he will have to process this is his own way. I freely admit I was angry and hurt that it took him so long to pick up the phone. Now that he's done it I understand he needed to be in the right place in his own head to be the strong, endlessly optimistic man she loves and needs. His optimism is a necessary balance to my pragmatism. He is the warm, comforting, unfailingly positive half. I am the realistic, down to business, face the facts, get this stuff done half. We're both necessary, too each other and to V.
I love them both very much.
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